Certainly, Zero Hour needs some kind of miracle. Maybe the intrigue over Pope Benedict’s resignation will pique viewers’ interest in Vatican-related religious thrillers. But we’ve seen this over and over again: a series built around an elaborate concept, dressed up with a spooky mythology, then filled in with characters so poorly conceived, they may as well be called Kidnapped Wife Lady.Īll that said, while I think life is too short for hate-watching, this is the kind of show you might want to watch a few minutes of just for the experience. No doubt it sounded great in a pitch meeting: a little Lost, a little Dan Brown, and the pedigree of the creator of Prison Break, which was at least good crazy before it went bad crazy. If you last this long, you will probably ask yourself how this show made it on air. Edwards is too dour, his sidekicks too bland, and they’re forced to trade exchanges like: “We keep asking ‘how.’ If we want answers, we have to ask ‘why’?” “‘Why’ will drive you crazy, Hank!” If we’re going to wade through all this papal bull, we need characters to engage with, but Hank and his colleagues are written so thinly, their scenes have all the life of an early-morning table read. With his two cub-reporter proteges Rachel and Arron (Addison Timlin and Scott Michael Foster), he goes on her trail, and comes across a mystery that involves modern Nazis, lots of clocks, and “a secret that even the Pope doesn’t know.” Hank Galliston (Anthony Edwards), publisher of a mythbusting magazine called Modern Skeptic–sort of an anti-Weekly World News–gets embroiled in the kind of conspiracy he usually debunk, when his wife (Jacinda Barrett) buys the wrong antique clock and gets abducted. But on the way from World War II to the discovery of a secret holy-war conspiracy, we have to pass through Brooklyn, and some of the stiffest acting and dialogue you’ll find this season. That storm is blowing big fat flakes of pure hoo-hah, which could have been a grand ridiculous time. It will pit science against religion, country against country. And it all wraps up with a wizened European man warning, “The storm is coming. (We learn what order the priests belong to because someone says, “As Rosicrucians we know the most important thing we can do…”) There is an icebound submarine, and old men and babies with creepy pupil-less eyes, and maps and antiques and ancient prophecies. But this is no Lost it’s more like a particularly absurd Rimbaldi subplot of Alias. The last time we heard someone intoning about magic numbers on ABC, of course, it was during Lost, whose spell Zero Hour seems Swiss-engineered to re-cast. Twelve is both the beginning and the end of time.” “Twelve is a magic number, ” a voice intones. And a band of Rosicrucian priests have vowed to stop a Nazi threat against humanity–nay! against God Himself!–with an arcane plan that involves… clocks. That trailer begins with a flashback to World War II. But if you DVR the premiere and watch the first few minutes and the last few, you will be treated to the most over-the-top hilarious parody movie trailer you will likely see all year. Not the whole series I can’t in good conscience recommend that. On The CW, The Vampire Diaries (1.0/3) was down a tenth from its February 7 show as was Beauty And The Beast (0.5/1) CBS topped the night in both overall viewers and among adults 18-49.Follow really should do yourself a favor and watch Zero Hour.

Elsewhere on NBC on Thursday, Parks and Recreation (1.5/5) fell 25% from its show last week while The Office (2.0/6) was down 5% Slotted to replace Do No Harm, a Law & Order: SVU(1.0/3) repeat ended the night for NBC. Scandal won the 10 PM time slot in the key 18-49 demo. On March 1, after the third episode, ABC canceled the series due to low ratings and immediately removed it from the schedule. ABC’s Scandal (2.8/8) was flat with last week’s show but for the first time in its history the political drama built on its Grey’s lead in. Elementary (2.2/6) was flat with last week’s show. Two and a Half Men (3.8/11) was dipped 7% from its February 7 show and Person of Interest (3.0/8) slipped a slight 3% too. The most watched show of the night, The Big Bang Theory (5.4/17) pulled in 17.63 million viewers on CBS last night but was down in the demo 13% from last week. Following Idol, a new Glee (1.7/5) took a bigger hit, falling 23% its February 7 show. The competition series slid 12% from last week’s Guys Only Hollywood Week Part 2 show. In its second show of the Girls Only Hollywood Week, Idol (3.6/11) itself was also down. ABC’s Grey’s Anatomy (2.7/7) didn’t have to face Idol, but it was down 13% from last week to also hit a series low. In its second week of its fourth season and also head-to-head with Idol on Fox, NBC’s Community (1.1/4) fell 42% from its season debut last week to hit a series low. Zero Hour wasn’t the only show having a rough night.

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